Kenapa di novel maupun film-film, sang penulis dengan gampang sekali menulis cerita yang seorang cewek dan seorang cowok dapat saling jatuh cinta hanya pada pandangan pertama?
I really don't believe it! Okay! I mean, it doesn't work in my life. Every guy that I see, they are just "cool" -__- Talk about my first love, I didn't love him [I mean my first Prince Charming, for me] at the first sight. We introduced ourselves, we were being friend -- bestfriend and knew each other that we loved each other. Not like in the novels or movies. The first thing that I remember is the feeling of 'falling in love'. Ya know, it's like we can't sleep every night, there's just him on my mind, we can't forget him, what he does and what he talks. Four years I loved him for who he is.
My bestfriend and I loved the same guy, yeah, it's him, but we never fight -- we didn't know why. My heart didn't hurt at that time. I tried to always love him as like his promise that he'll love me forever and always! I never loved the other guy. But... "Who's the guy and who's the girl?", I asked myself. "Why am I always text him first, why it's like I need him so much?". I was confused. I tried not to text him and slowly my love for him was dull. I hope everything was gonna be okay! I hope...
He loved the other girl as the answer of my heart questions. He lied to me. He said that he wanted to love me forever and ever! But now? He lied to me for six months. Six months, I still loved him. I tore all of the letters from him. I deleted all of his messages and his number in my handphone. I threw all of the stuff from him into a shoes box and I think my dad was throwing it, really throwing it! Goodbye!
"He always in my heart forever! I said "Never Ever Be Replace" and I promised it! I'll never break the promise!" -- My Quotes :]
He said that he'll love me always and forever. He said that he will follow me wherever I go. But now, just "Yeah, I loved her" -- yeah, that sentence made my heart was so broken, made my day was so dark and made me was so ill and feel didn't have any hopes anymore. Because, he was my medicine for my heart, he was my sunshine in my day of his laugh and all of his stupid things that he always did. How he played his guitar and drum were my smile and it was the first thing that made me melting. He was always be there for me, whenever I needed him. First time, I got super headache, I couldn't sit and I just wanted to cry, and I just could search his name on my phonebook and text him that I needed him, and he supported me.
I cried at the time he admitted. I locked my door and cried alone in my bedroom. No one knew, except me, God, my heart and him. "Don't cry!" I still remember, what he told to me by texting. "Hey! Cry or not, it can't return the situation as before, right?, I said to him. Simply he just said "Yes". Oh, I hate when he just said as simple as like that!! Yeah, the last time he texted to me, he said "What's about your birthday party?", but I couldn't reply his message, 'cause my handphone was low battery. I replied it the next day, but he didn't reply me messages anymore until now. He gave a last "Happy Bday" greeting to me when I was 13 years old.
But, now I told myself that I just want to focus on my school and my future. Let God set who's my Prince Charming for me in the future ;] I miss him. I miss when we were texting, I miss when he smiled to me, I miss when he tried to talk with me, I miss when he always wanted to help me but he was so shy. We never talked each other in four years, pathetic!
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